Sunday, December 20, 2015

Christmas Around the Corner, Starving Artist Holday Gala as Seen Through the Lens of a Seven Year Old

Parna is on my lap, the only warm part of me. It is cold in here. I turned the heat down around 5am when upstairs was smoking cigarettes and woke me up like dread.

I decided to get up and get busy doing stuff. I downloaded the pictures from the Starving Artist Holiday Gala that my wee neighbor, Caplan took. He is 7 and did a great job.
Showing the women the picture Caplan took

This lovely soul bought two pieces

The Ballroom chandeliers

Coming in to the Starving Artist Holiday Gala

The pretty woman greeting us as we came in to the show

I didnt realize this woman was gving Caplan hell for not asking to photograph her work. So we asked her and she said okay.

Such a nice man and he sold his Batman painting

Another beautiful person and artist

The artist and her work

Santa and Caplan

Time to take a break

They had it all going on, camera crew, interviewer, all for the artists

Some of the crew that put this all together

This wonderful man bought this artists sculpture

Yay another piece sold

The food was amazing, ehre we see jumbo shrimp

The artist and his work

Wind in the Trees

It was cool to hear the wind like this. Billie Holiday is playing on the ipod singing Summertime. I added to my decorations. The birds have not been around because some predator has been eating them. I found feathers twice. I raked them away but it has been so quiet.
Picture of me in the window

Happy Winter nest

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Walk on a Saturday Night

Perhaps I am going for a walk in a minute. The cat just woke up, she slept all afternoon until now, around 8pm. I spent the day organizing my basement. It kind of looks exactly the same, which is way too cluttered. Too much stuff with not the sufficient storage space.

It makes me happy to get my things all in the right spot though. Get all the yarn in the same place, all the many things grouped together turns me on.

Lucky me, I found some things I bought and did not give away yet. That is a boon for this strange Christmas. Huge scare yesterday with my mother's health. She was calle din by her doctor. I was so upset. I sat on the floor on my rug and cried so hard because I want my mommy. Like anyone else.

I was thrilled to pieces to get the news later in the day from Daisy that things are good. My mother has some things to address but apparently nothing serious and she is in great health.

It is hard not to reflect back to last year when I had so many many presents for people. I feel they pretty much went unnoticed so it is likely a good thing I have barely anything this year. Maybe there will be less time opening presents and more time having a family sing-a-long? I will drink rum and egg nog. The one day of the year I kind of imbibe and I love it. I could drink loads of those drinks.

The dating thing. Hahahahahahaha and let me laugh some more. Maybe a wee shudder.

One guy contacted me last night. Blue-eyed, not that into blue eyed guys. He is tallish at 6ft and a professor. Also turns out he is from Sydney. I had dreams rushing in of going to Oz together, go visit my friend who just lost her partner, my close friend too. I imagine listening to his accent.

He said, "I think you are a distinctively beautiful and sharp woman.
I hope you write me back". That is a nice email and he looks nice.

Email back and forth and then the shoe drops, no pun intended. He has a high heel fetish. Which is fine but to bring it out first conversation is gross and piggish. It was late, he wanted to get his freak on.  I am not into that and the thought of having that between me and someone else is not something I want. I get people are "weird" but please, do not rum my face in your thang before I know you.

I read reviews of him as a professor and they were not good. I finally told him he was being inappropriate when I said good night and he asked me to describe my favorite heels to him. This morning he left me a basic "how is your day" but I ignored it. I am done with that. He sounded cool in some ways, into green living and obviously pretty smart.

There is another guy I like but I am not sure why. He is again not my type but so far he has not been rude or lewd and I guess in this somewhat sordid arena that says a lot.

I am enjoying the organic nature of this holiday. More on this later. I need to go blow off some steam and walk it off for awhile.

Monday, December 14, 2015

Dating and the Holidays

Went on a date today. I will be honest. I would not have gone except for the way he presented himself in the initial email. The first line of his profile says he is financially stable. That is nice. I wonder what that feels like, maybe it doenst feel that much different. I would make different decisions. I would be Christmas shopping for one thing. I would be out there finding gifts for my family. Instead I am here writing about a introductory coffee date I went on. I am not going to "make" gifts this year either. I dont know what I am going to do.

The guy said he dug artistic chicks and maybe he would buy a painting so I would have some Christmas money. I thought it was terribly sweet and intuitive. I thought it was cool.

We made a time to meet. I cleaned the house, dusted, vacuumed, did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen. Closed the curtain to my bedroom and went out to meet him dressed for the first time in the vintage Calvin Klein suit Gutuku's mom gave me. I took a bunch of pictures but only got two, not sure what happened :( and they dont have the suit with the jacket on. I wore Gitiku's father's coat that his mom gave me after he passed away. I had nice clothes on. I blew out my hair and put on some make-up.

Two neighbors were at the coffee shop. One of them was there when I was on my first date with the Native guy. He could see this was online date central for me, kind of funny.

We had coffee and then drove back here so I could show him my work. I gave him a little plate of baked goods and he liked them all. He looked around and hummed and hawed. I could feel he didnt want a painting. I did not care, I wanted him to leave. I was not attracted to him that way and he didnt really want a painting, I wanted him to leave. "Thank you for coming, it is time for me to get back to work now."

He told me he wanted to help me out. He told me in the coffee shop he found some glitch in offshore betting on horses and that is how he makes "good money". He is a successful gambler. His son does it too.

When he said he wanted to help me out I told him, "Well since you make your money from a glitch in the computer programming, I will gladly take your help, it is not like you moved rocks around all day for $100, then I would not be quick to take your money."

"Is that what you tell yourself?"

"Yes it is."

He told me had to use the can again, he used it at the coffee shop. He took awhile there. I had images of him planting a camera or some kind of thing in my bathroom.

 He came back upstairs and had a look around. I gave him the price lists. He chose one painting of tulips. Then he asked for a deal. The original price is $225. He said he is trying to "help me out". He found a lucky break, an edge in the system so he makes good money gambling. I am the poor one  and he wants a deal from me.

"Get out of my house" is what I wanted to say but I didnt.

I told him it was a fair price and I am not going to lower it. I told him, "Look you dont need to buy a painting from me, honestly, it is fine. 200 bucks is not going to make or break me, trust me."

He said "Let me give you something" reaching in his back pocket for his wallet.

"No, I do not want a hand out."

"I would like to help you out a bit." He pulled out a 50. "Maybe I could get some cookies."

"Or maybe you would like to try my Super Powers Potion?" He told me he thought my skin was good, so good that when he looked at my profile he figured I was running a scam on pof. He thought maybe I was presenting as 57, when actually I was early 40's, 30's to snag the older retired guys. Guys with kids out of the house and time and money to spend on me.

No, that is not happening. I went and got him some cream. I showed him how to use it. He got 3 jars, a lip balm and some cards so he could give some out as Christmas presents.

He started to leave and said something that I could phone him but this was probably it.

"You are not going to be my boyfriend no."

I am glad he is gone. My dinner was good, leftover spaghetti and my cat for company. Now if I only had a few dollah bills yall, so I could shop for Christmas, I want to shop. I dont know what will happen this Christmas.

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Working Hard and Resting

In bed at 4pm so effing tired. Have a big bowl of spaghetti I made and my laptop to zone out. I started baking the night before last, made 3 bathces of dough to be baked the next day. Started baking the next day, yesterday at 7am and was doing my best to stop at 3am. I made a couple of mistakes and ran out of stuff, had to go out and get it, re-do. That thing where it ought to have taken so long, got stretched into so much more complications and time. I persevered. I had 4 dozen I needed for today and I did it. I ought to have taken pictures of the plates before I wrapped them but I didnt want one other thing to do.
The "mistake" Salted caramel chews turned into cookies

I woke up today with a big headache, feeling nauseous. Toward the end I would chew the cookie or whatever just to check the flavor, then spit it out.

Salted caramel chews
My neighbor got me loads of groceries because she is really kind. She knows I am struggling and she wants to help. I got loads of orders to make cookies and stuff so I got busy. I noticed the butter, the cheap kind has lost the real consistency of butter. It is thin and watery and weird. I feel upset by what the corporate world has done and is doing to our food, our naimals all in the name of cash for themselves. How they poison us.
Rum Raisin Chocolate Fudge

Chocolate chip
The Salted Caramel Chews did not work out the first time. I used Instand Steel cut oats which are hard, too hard. I tried to soften them in the double boiler for hours, nope. I added liquid and baked them, nope. So I made them into cookies. Added ingredients that would be for cookies and they did turn out softer but more like the consistency of a muffin, a tiny crunchy muffin. I poked holes in the top with a toothpick and then made a delicious brown butter icing. Then I made melted butterscotch chips with pink salt and a bit of condensed milk and then piped it on top. I am not sure how they taste. By 3am my taste buds were kind of useless. Although I made a couple of over easy eggs and wilted spinach to eat before I went to sleep and they were delicious.
Lemon cookies didnt fluff up, not sure why but taste good.

I was so tired that I woke up tired. I spoke with Daisy and started to cry, crying about how hard I work and have nothing to show for it. She scolded me "You have lots to show for it". I was crying how they destroy the food "Don't tell your customers that."

She told me she was coming over to help me do the dishes. How fantastic. I did the dishes repeatedly yesterday, to keep on top of it, and to re-use the equipment. It was nice having her here to chat with while we cleaned.

The mess after the fixture was removed
Upstairs jerkoff wrecked the light from stomping and Daisy's partner fixed it for me. It was a drag for him because the wiring was wrong so we had to try it 3 different times but finally it is done and it is great. The drywall mess around it was already there, and then I added to it to cover the hole. He said the hole was there originally to drain water, yikes. I wrote jerkoff a letter to ask him not to stomp anymore but that would make him stomp so I didnt give it to him.

Flowering plants in the garden are refreshing
There are still flowers out. I love this so-far mild winter, it can stay like this as far as I am concerned.

Apparently someone is coming to look at my paintings tomorrow, I hope he buys one and it is not contingent on whether I date him or not. Uck.

The baking was difficult and I am not done but mostly done. My sweet tooth is aching although I had a couple of cookies today. It is me trying them to see how they taste, wanting to discern how they taste to others. Gosh thank you Daisy for the help. I have a cup of tea and plan on staying in bed til the morning when I jump up to get my house ready for the visitor in the afternoon.