Working Hard and Resting

In bed at 4pm so effing tired. Have a big bowl of spaghetti I made and my laptop to zone out. I started baking the night before last, made 3 bathces of dough to be baked the next day. Started baking the next day, yesterday at 7am and was doing my best to stop at 3am. I made a couple of mistakes and ran out of stuff, had to go out and get it, re-do. That thing where it ought to have taken so long, got stretched into so much more complications and time. I persevered. I had 4 dozen I needed for today and I did it. I ought to have taken pictures of the plates before I wrapped them but I didnt want one other thing to do.

The "mistake" Salted caramel chews turned into cookies

I woke up today with a big headache, feeling nauseous. Toward the end I would chew the cookie or whatever just to check the flavor, then spit it out.

Salted caramel chews

My neighbor got me loads of groceries because she is really kind. She knows I am struggling and she wants to help. I got loads of orders to make cookies and stuff so I got busy. I noticed the butter, the cheap kind has lost the real consistency of butter. It is thin and watery and weird. I feel upset by what the corporate world has done and is doing to our food, our naimals all in the name of cash for themselves. How they poison us.

Rum Raisin Chocolate Fudge

Chocolate chip

The Salted Caramel Chews did not work out the first time. I used Instand Steel cut oats which are hard, too hard. I tried to soften them in the double boiler for hours, nope. I added liquid and baked them, nope. So I made them into cookies. Added ingredients that would be for cookies and they did turn out softer but more like the consistency of a muffin, a tiny crunchy muffin. I poked holes in the top with a toothpick and then made a delicious brown butter icing. Then I made melted butterscotch chips with pink salt and a bit of condensed milk and then piped it on top. I am not sure how they taste. By 3am my taste buds were kind of useless. Although I made a couple of over easy eggs and wilted spinach to eat before I went to sleep and they were delicious.

Lemon cookies didnt fluff up, not sure why but taste good.

I was so tired that I woke up tired. I spoke with Daisy and started to cry, crying about how hard I work and have nothing to show for it. She scolded me "You have lots to show for it". I was crying how they destroy the food "Don't tell your customers that."

She told me she was coming over to help me do the dishes. How fantastic. I did the dishes repeatedly yesterday, to keep on top of it, and to re-use the equipment. It was nice having her here to chat with while we cleaned.

The mess after the fixture was removed

Upstairs jerkoff wrecked the light from stomping and Daisy's partner fixed it for me. It was a drag for him because the wiring was wrong so we had to try it 3 different times but finally it is done and it is great. The drywall mess around it was already there, and then I added to it to cover the hole. He said the hole was there originally to drain water, yikes. I wrote jerkoff a letter to ask him not to stomp anymore but that would make him stomp so I didnt give it to him.

Flowering plants in the garden are refreshing

There are still flowers out. I love this so-far mild winter, it can stay like this as far as I am concerned.

Apparently someone is coming to look at my paintings tomorrow, I hope he buys one and it is not contingent on whether I date him or not. Uck.

The baking was difficult and I am not done but mostly done. My sweet tooth is aching although I had a couple of cookies today. It is me trying them to see how they taste, wanting to discern how they taste to others. Gosh thank you Daisy for the help. I have a cup of tea and plan on staying in bed til the morning when I jump up to get my house ready for the visitor in the afternoon.