Things Change Fast Sometimes

My show is this coming Sunday, came faster than I expected. Still painting. I painted until like 1030 pm so I could do the dishes because smelltard upstairs goes mental if I make noise. I felt tres annoyed I have this smelly tool bothering me, impeding on my life and senses. I asked God to remove him from my life in a nice way. Daisy helped me get new tubes for the ligths since his bonking around blew out one of them again, Dickhead. I know it is not nice to name call, I know that.

The last of the sunflowers but they didnt make it

I did join back up at pof. This time I like my profile better too. I seem to have attracted more attractive men this time, in the first two days, or even the first day. One guy might come to my thing and hopefully buy a painting. He told me he just bought a condo and needed to decorate the walls. Yasss decorate your walls. I think I am not attracted to him in that way but I like his vibe. The next one is a bit younger than me and describes himself as part George Clooney. Whoops. Especially when he asked me for a picture of my eyes because they are the windows to the soul. I took a picture of me framing my eyes with my fingers.

He wrote me back that I won, and now I had his interests. That put me off. Taking the photos was challenging, the levels of self-hate popping up like corns on the cob, with proof right there in front of me when I would take yet another picture that came back very scary. So scary I do not have the balls to post any

Then there is the other guy. He has nice pictures, is tall and part Native. Yummy. BUT I have my red light s flashing full siren, they are spinning, making noise to get my attention.  Danger, danger, danger, read the signs. This guy is one of those, I think.

I feel attraction, heat and I want to cry. I dont trust it, I am better off not trusting this guy and sending him away with my nice form letter: 

 "Hi to you too. Thank you for the note, it made me smile.

You are handsome and seem interesting but I do not feel we are a match. I wish you the best in your search here.

Take care,
~hc"

 I am relieved most guys go away nicely when I send that and I dont mind if they put time into reading my profile and contacting me, I like to acknowledge that. After the line "...it made me smile" I can add in something subjective to them which is perfect for me.

I would like to trust someone. And feel that chemistry.
I have a big day tomorrow. I was meant to go deliver paintings to the Starving Artist thing but I am not going. It is not working out and I would rather focus this time on my own show.